Finally our travel blog

While we were in China I was unable to post on my blog.  However, I did write every night AS THOUGH I were blogging.  So, for the next 3 weeks I will post my blog from each night and re-live our trip.  Here goes...

It is hard to believe that it has been 7 years since we brought our sweet Ginger home to her forever family! But it is true, as evidenced by the 7th annual Family Day celebration we hosted for our fellow adoptive families last weekend. Our girls are growing and thriving and amazing us every day.

 Ginger and I are preparing ourselves for her first return to her homeland this month. We will participate in a 10 day Heritage Tour with 12 other families in which we will visit Beijing, Xi'an, Chengdu and Yangshuo. During that time we will visit many cultural and historical landmarks, as well as the infamous "matching room" in Beijing, where children awaiting adoption are matched with their forever families. We will have the opportunity to walk along the Great Wall, attend a tea ceremony, enjoy Sichuan opera, and hold a baby panda in our laps!

 After that we will venture out on a personalized tour with our dear friends Kriss and Olivia Kokofer, who we adopted with in 2009. Ginger and Olivia were at the same Orphanage and have grown up together in the Bay Area. The four of us have hired a guide who will take us to the girl's home town for a few days and back to their orphanage to visit. In addition, we will be visiting with Ginger's foster mother and going to her home in Shanggao County. She is eagerly awaiting our arrival What an amazing opportunity for us! We are both exited and a little nervous, and I imagine this trip will bring tears as well as smiles for us both.

 David and Cuyler will not be joining us this time, as we want this first trip to be as easy as possible for Ginger, and to keep the focus firmly on her. We could not have done it without their support, though, and I feel so lucky to have this opportunity to introduce Ginger to her homeland. We may not all be going on this trip, but the whole family has planned and sacrificed for this momentous occasion. I will keep you up to date as much as I can. 14 days to lift off!

Re-adoption Day

We kept Cuyler out of school Monday morning and we all dressed up and headed down to the Pleasanton Superior Court to officializ our adoption of Ginger. It is merely a formality, but we were excited nonetheless!

The judge was an incredibly nice woman who gave each of the kids their own little adoption stuffed animal. SHe was great with the kids. For me this is one more hurdle toward the making of our family. Now Ginger will have an American birth certificate, which really comes in handy when you start kindergarten (among other things!)

Every day brings us closer together as a family as we work toward wholeness not only for the family as a unit, but for each individual within our little nucleus. Ginger continues to open up and show us more of who she is. She has still not stopped eating since we arrived home in March, and is continually amazing me with her intelligence and persistence.
Her vocanulary has expanded immensely. Her latest words:
Shit (actually means SIT, but that is how it comes out)
Mine
No
No, mine
Mine, no
Bow (which she screams and points to the minute we get out of bed. And which MUST match her shoes!)
Flower

Her favorite song is the "no, mine" song, which she sings vociferously in the back seat should anyone try and cross her during car travel. She does not like car travel.

She is OBSESSED with poo-poo. While I am sitting on the potty she will swagger in, press my knees apart, and say "oh, no!" and try and wipe me up. Then, she stands at the toilet bowl looking forlorn as she waves and screams, "bye-bye, poo-poo"! I shit you not. THis kid is a riot!

She is getting gentler and gentler with her big brother, whom she very rarely bites anymore. She still can't resist a handful of golden hair at least once a day, though, and she needs to keep her claws sharp, so she still scratches.

So, we are well; no one has swime flu. I have given up my job and will enjoy spending more time at home with the kids, who I feel really need me right now. The transition to Kindergarten has been surprisingly difficult for Cuy-Cuy. That said, he is doing great and is learning more every day. I love his K teacher, Miss Cronin.

Been a long time...

Wow! We have been home for nearly 2 months and I have not updated my blog! I can't believe how time flies!

Ginger is well-integrated into the family now and we are into a regular groove. She has finally bonded with me and calls me mama and cries when I leave the room (unless of course Daddy is around).

She has several English words, "up, shoes, ball, uh oh". She calls Cuyler go-go, which is her dialaect for gege, which is Chinese for big brother. She often looks right at me and screams, "Mama! Mama!" Sometimes she calls me "MaBa", which is mama and dada all rolled into one.

She is still eating like a horse and has put on 3 pounds, weighing in at nearly 20 pounds! She has become a bit more selective in what she eats, but she still eats nearly everything I put in front of her with the exception of applesauce.

We have had several playdates with her "sisters" who live near us, and that has really been great. Maybe more for me than her! I feel so connceted to the people we travelled to China with and I miss their presence.

Ginger hasn't bitten anyone in weeks, which is a relief! She bit her brother a couple of times, even leaving a bruise and little teeth marks on him one time. She doesn't even relaly hit anymore. We have taught her to be gently, and when I say "Gentle", she will reach out and stroke her brother's head, or the cat. or whatever.

All of her blood work came back perfect: she has had all the immunizations they saidshe had and she doesn't even have so much as anemia! I perfectly healthy, happy and delightful child!

I cannot overstate how grateful we feel to her foster family; they took such good care of her. And what I think of what a delightful child she is, I feel sad for them, as I know they must miss her terribly. If I lost her now I would be devastated. I cannot imagine my life without her.

I go back to work in about 3 weeks, and anticipate a smooth transition. I have taken Ginger to childcare at work several times and she has done wonderfully well. Her brother is there with her, which helps alot, of course. One of the women who works at childcare is now coming over every Wednesday for a couple of hours in the afternoon and babysitting, which is not only helpful to me, but gave Ginger someone to identify with at childcare. It also gives me a chance to get some errands done.

I think the biggest struggle we have had is just going from one child to two, jsut as any family would. Cuyler has been really great about telling us when he feels a little jealous or when he needs extra hugs, so that is extremely helpful, too.

Well, that is all the news that is fit to print to night. I am exhausted. We are just now starting to catch up on sleep, as we began letting her "cry it out" this week. It killled me to do it, but tonight she cried for 3 minutes then went to sleep, so that is pretty good!

Thats all for now!

Settling in...

Well... It's been nearly a week and a half and we are FINALLY settling in. Cuyler walks around the house counting: "1,2,3...4" We are finally a family, Mama! He loves his little sister to death, even though she gets most of the attention. Sometimes he feels a bit left out, and he has learned to tell us when he needs extra hugs or he feels like he isn't getting enough lovin. It is so cute.

Ginger is finally bonding to me, and smiles and giggles and laughs and plays all day with her Mama. I no longer have to wait until she is asleep to curl her little hand around my finger and watch her sleep and feel her breath. She reaches for me now and when she wakes up in the morning and sees my face she smiles instead of hanging her little head and sobbing. What a sweet relief!

Her body has finally settled into the new time zone, as evidenced by the fact that she finally pooed in the morning instead of at night! Yaaaaay! Major hurdle jumped! She sleeps all night, and last night was the first night she slept the entire night in her crib, rather than coming in to bed with me around 4:00 am. We work in shifts: David puts her down and when he comes to bed at 10 or 11, I am on call, and go in when she cries around midnight to pat her back to sleep.

I don't think we could possibly ask for a smoother transition, really. Ginger fits in like she has been here all along. She is amazingly adaptive and easy going. Except when she doesn't get her way, in which case she puts up quite a fuss. We will be forever grateful to her foster family, who so clearly took such wonderful care of her. She is a happy, engaged, spirited and bright little baby girl.

I still cannot believe it when I settle into the big bed in our room every evening and read stories to my childREN. We have waited so long for this, and it is so worth the wait. It brings tears to my eyese to see my son so tender and sweet with her. First thing in the morning he runs into her room to "check" on her, and he and I lie in bed and wait for her to wake up.

Tomorrow is her big Dr's check up , and that will be very telling. At least one of the babies in our group has been diagnosed with Hep B. Apparetnly 73% of the population in HGinger's provine have Hep. So.... We will see.

Ooops- I think my little princess is waking from her nap. So I need to get her up, give her a snack, and then we will go pick up brother at pre-school and spend the rest of the day at the park. yeah, yeah, life sucks!

Uggghhhh

Oh, I may never write again. We finally made it to Guangzhou and the WHite Swan hotel and I got sick on the plane. The flight was excruciating and two days later I am still not hearing normally. Then once we landed, the fun began. My stomach started twisting into knots, leaving me basically incapacitated. There we were at the airport waiting for the bus, babies rolling around on those always delightful airport floors, and and mom down their with them, crying just as loudly. Well, not really, just trying to amuse!

I have been sick every since, with a nasty throat infection, cough and stomach issues. Well, this time is like no other, I ALWAYS get sick when I come to China. Even my skin hurts! My flesh crawls all night, cold hot cold hot. And poor David was up all night with Ginger last night. She is not well either, and last night was really bad for her. We will take her to the clinic today. Oh, yes, we have pink eye, too.

So. we have lots of little potions and powders to take to try and make us well. i so want to leave the hotel, but I can't walk more than a few moments. Ginger seems to feel bad for a while, then build up speed and be OK for a while. David is just exhausted and grumpy.

Can't wait to show you all our ADOPTION BARBIE doll. No kidding! Mattel sponsors them and they come in a box dedicated to people adopting children in CHina! There is a little play room here, too, well-stocked with toys, that Mattel sponsors. Too smart. Ahh, the marketization of our children! Only the Chinese can do it better than the Americans!

OK, my stomach is writhing and I am due another long session shaking and sweating in bed. This will likely be my last pos till we get home. Who wants to come take care of us?

Oh, and Cuyler came up with a super cute pet name for Ginger, he calls her is little Ginger Bun! He was not interested much in talking to me yesterday, jsut wanted to talk to his Little Ginger Bun. So cute!

Love to all-

Finally some space to write!

It has been difficult for me to write, as I have been completely consumed by this tiny little bundle of joy that is my daughter. It has been an exhilarating and emotional few days. Ginger is an absolute delight; she is extremely personable and outspoken. She loves to laugh and play; in short she is EXACTLY the person they told us in her dossier that she was. Which is comforting.

In an unexpected turn, she has bonded pretty much exclusively to David. Up until yesterday she would not tolerate my holding her or even getting too close unless David was there. She would let me feed her and play with her a bit, but she had to be safely in Daddy's arms. We had expected this to happen the other way around, with her being afraid of David. Apparently this is not uncommon at all. In fact, it is happening alot around us to varying degrees. David cannot leave the room, put her down or even really look away for long before she starts crying. This is one of the things they didn't prepare us for.

When she looks at me, huge tears well up in her eyes, she hangs her dead and just SOBS. Oh, man, it is absolutely heart breaking. I just want to hold her and love her and keep her safe. So, between the two of us there are plenty of tears! We are not sure if it is because of my blonde hair (which many people surmise), or because I remind her of her caretaker. Which, when you see her picture to the right, you can imagine why!

We went to the orphanage Thursday and everything started to change afterward. We got to see her "Founding Place", the small building to the right which sits at the gate of the orphanage. They man the building 24x7 so that when someone leaves a baby they can get her in out of the elements quickly. Oh, man, and talk about elements! It is freezing cold and raining here. This couldn't possible be southern China! My feet are wet and I am cold. booo frickety hoo!

Anyway, on to the subject at hand! We chit chatted with her foster mom for quite a while. Well, kinda. I don't really understand the dialect here, and she kept telling me about these two small dogs she has and how much Ginger loves them and how she calls them, blah blah blah. So, i was saying, oh yeah, we have a cat, but no dogs. When Ginger is 3 we will get a dog, blah blah blah.

She kept talking about those dumb dogs, so finally I got an orphanage employee to come and translate a little (into standard Chinese, not English), and it ends up the dogs are little boys! She must think I am a complete and utter moron. Anyway, she was delightful, but Ginger was not horribly interested in her. In fact, she only let her hold her a little bit, and if Daddy wasn't right next to her she cried in her arms. we promised Grandma Pan we would send pictures every year. Grandma pan did translate some of Ginger's words, which was nice. She loves to count. you know, 1,2,3,5,8. That is how Grandma Pan counted. So, we don't sweat the details, like what order numbers go in!!!

Suffice to say going to the orphanage was extremely cathartic for all of us and will forever remain a highlight of our trip. It was really nice to see where she was from; it was actually a poor but nice little town set in some foothills with tree covered hills surrounding it. And LOTS of red mud.

Since returning from the orphanage Ginger has blossomed even more. She is tolerating me at greater and greater intervals and is allowing me to hold her and play with her without Daddy present. I even got to get into a bath with he last night. Yesterday on the bus she stood up and was smiling at me and reached for me and several of the women on the bus had tears in their eyes, as it was so touching. I held her while she slept on the bus, too, and everyone was rooting for me! One f the couples has adopted 4 children from taiwan prior to this, their CHina doll, and they have given me great advice. the dad, Ron, is really a big jolly guy and the babies love him. He told me I had to do the tough love thing with her and let David go out and do something and just let her cry so she had to come around. I was hesitant to do so, because this has been such a traumatic week for her, I hate to traumatize her more, but I did it anyway and it worked.

This group of 8 families has really bonded well, too. We all share toys and clothes that don't fit our babies and food that works, etc. We are rooting for one another, loving each other's babies, and crying on one another's shoulders. Even the hotel attendants are rooting for us! It is very sweet, and a real bonding of humanity. Our world is so full of separation and anxiety and angst and oppositional forces, that it is very humbling and magical to be engaged in something that just naturally brings people together rather than splitting them apart.