It has been difficult for me to write, as I have been completely consumed by this tiny little bundle of joy that is my daughter. It has been an exhilarating and emotional few days. Ginger is an absolute delight; she is extremely personable and outspoken. She loves to laugh and play; in short she is EXACTLY the person they told us in her dossier that she was. Which is comforting.
In an unexpected turn, she has bonded pretty much exclusively to David. Up until yesterday she would not tolerate my holding her or even getting too close unless David was there. She would let me feed her and play with her a bit, but she had to be safely in Daddy's arms. We had expected this to happen the other way around, with her being afraid of David. Apparently this is not uncommon at all. In fact, it is happening alot around us to varying degrees. David cannot leave the room, put her down or even really look away for long before she starts crying. This is one of the things they didn't prepare us for.
When she looks at me, huge tears well up in her eyes, she hangs her dead and just SOBS. Oh, man, it is absolutely heart breaking. I just want to hold her and love her and keep her safe. So, between the two of us there are plenty of tears! We are not sure if it is because of my blonde hair (which many people surmise), or because I remind her of her caretaker. Which, when you see her picture to the right, you can imagine why!
We went to the orphanage Thursday and everything started to change afterward. We got to see her "Founding Place", the small building to the right which sits at the gate of the orphanage. They man the building 24x7 so that when someone leaves a baby they can get her in out of the elements quickly. Oh, man, and talk about elements! It is freezing cold and raining here. This couldn't possible be southern China! My feet are wet and I am cold. booo frickety hoo!
Anyway, on to the subject at hand! We chit chatted with her foster mom for quite a while. Well, kinda. I don't really understand the dialect here, and she kept telling me about these two small dogs she has and how much Ginger loves them and how she calls them, blah blah blah. So, i was saying, oh yeah, we have a cat, but no dogs. When Ginger is 3 we will get a dog, blah blah blah.
She kept talking about those dumb dogs, so finally I got an orphanage employee to come and translate a little (into standard Chinese, not English), and it ends up the dogs are little boys! She must think I am a complete and utter moron. Anyway, she was delightful, but Ginger was not horribly interested in her. In fact, she only let her hold her a little bit, and if Daddy wasn't right next to her she cried in her arms. we promised Grandma Pan we would send pictures every year. Grandma pan did translate some of Ginger's words, which was nice. She loves to count. you know, 1,2,3,5,8. That is how Grandma Pan counted. So, we don't sweat the details, like what order numbers go in!!!
Suffice to say going to the orphanage was extremely cathartic for all of us and will forever remain a highlight of our trip. It was really nice to see where she was from; it was actually a poor but nice little town set in some foothills with tree covered hills surrounding it. And LOTS of red mud.
Since returning from the orphanage Ginger has blossomed even more. She is tolerating me at greater and greater intervals and is allowing me to hold her and play with her without Daddy present. I even got to get into a bath with he last night. Yesterday on the bus she stood up and was smiling at me and reached for me and several of the women on the bus had tears in their eyes, as it was so touching. I held her while she slept on the bus, too, and everyone was rooting for me! One f the couples has adopted 4 children from taiwan prior to this, their CHina doll, and they have given me great advice. the dad, Ron, is really a big jolly guy and the babies love him. He told me I had to do the tough love thing with her and let David go out and do something and just let her cry so she had to come around. I was hesitant to do so, because this has been such a traumatic week for her, I hate to traumatize her more, but I did it anyway and it worked.
This group of 8 families has really bonded well, too. We all share toys and clothes that don't fit our babies and food that works, etc. We are rooting for one another, loving each other's babies, and crying on one another's shoulders. Even the hotel attendants are rooting for us! It is very sweet, and a real bonding of humanity. Our world is so full of separation and anxiety and angst and oppositional forces, that it is very humbling and magical to be engaged in something that just naturally brings people together rather than splitting them apart.
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